10 things only British Asians will get!

Growing up South Asian came with many-a-struggle. Some enough to want to pull the Amla oiled tresses right out from your head! Being British and being Asian can sometimes be a struggle itself, because the culture clashes can be enough to confuse the best of us! I mean really what is being Asian, does being from the country itself contribute enough to being Asian and does being born in Britain make anyone less Asian? What are your thoughts on this? And if you relate to anything underneath then leave a comment down below too!  (This is just a bit of fun-and most of it is bloody relatable so don't take any offence! If you are one with a very sensitive soul then just leave the page without any nonsense!)

1. That tube of Nair.  The tube that is actually meant to be used on your leg gets most use on that genetically given monobrow that you and both 100 of your cousins share. And no matter how many times you wax that tash it jut grows back the next day? If only the hair on my head grew that quick! 
2. That cup of chai.  'The perfect cup of tea should be as brown as your exotic skin' something i remember being told when I was a child. So when I check my cup matches my skin tone I'm told my mareez cup of tea is too white and that I'll never find a husband. Thanks Auntie Bushra, Next time I'll make it as brown as your unmarried 40-something son Bashir :)
3. That Non-Asian Boyfriend  When Matt gets saved as Manjit, Mahar or even Manesh and you have to slyly answer the calls out of earshot of anyone at this random party you have been invited to(you most probably are related to them). Or the fact that you have to watch every Bollywood movie with subtitles and answer countless questions about why they are singing every 10 minutes. Just eat your mild vindaloo and let me watch it in peace!  
4. That ugly laugh I feel like parents just make things up that they hate about you and say that's why you will not find a husband in the hope that you will stop it. Don't laugh too loud, you wont find a husband, Don't talk to loud, you won't find a husband, Don't watch Eastenders, let me watch my Indian dramas instead...You know what comes next. 
5. That call you get when you come home late Nothing is scarier than that call you get from your mum when you're out later than you said you would be. Actually i lie. A missed call is-but i don't think anyone has survived it to confirm. 
6. That bilingual chick Apparently being bilingual is sexy. But I didn't get this memo growing up when everyone was taunting me with an Indian accent and head shake. And why didn't anyone find it sexy when my mum used to shout at me in punjabi across the playground eh? Not to mention the absolute shit that gets ripped out of us when we try to converse with people from back home! No matter how many bollywood films I memorise my angraize roots fail me (sigh)
7. That first curry Sending that first curry you made to all those guys that rejected you growing up for being a coconut. How you like me now bitch? *Laughs in silent* 
8. That smell of curry.  No matter how fast you run from your bedroom to the front door, the smell of curry gets stuck in your hair and clothes.Quick you only have two options now: deal with everyone asking whats that smell as you walk past or wash your hair with industrial strength bleach. 
9. That ugly Asian dress.  We have all been there. That ugly eid dress you were sent from back home from that one cousin who tells everyone she's your sister but secretly hates you and shows everyone in the village your instagram posts. I see you Shagufta. I see you. You can't even get out of wearing it because they want pictures of the day with you in it. 
10. That Name  Going through life knowing no one will pronounce your name right. You will never find a keyring with your name on it, and no matter how many times you say it in starbucks they will always write Zuboner on your cup.